“When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.” --Chinese proverb.

The Royal Flora Ratchaphruek horticultural show has opened its doors to the public in Chiang Mai’s Mae Hia (an outer sub - district or tambon) in the city of Chiang Mai. The spectacular flower show, held to celebrate King Bhumibol’s sixtieth year on the throne, and His Majesty’s birthday on December 5th, was officially opened on the first day of November by Her Majesty Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn.
More than 12,000 people flocked to the 80 hectare (470-rai) site on the opening day, and organizers predict more than 3 million will visit the show before it closes on the 31st of January 2007. This is the largest show of its kind ever to have been held in Southeast Asia, with more than 3 million trees, plants and flowers on display from Thailand and the 32 participating nations.

The organizers have been careful to cater for disabled visitors, with ramps at every exhibit, special toilet facilities, and wheelchairs for hire on site Daily Admission costs 100 Baht if you buy your ticket outside, 200 baht if purchased at the gate: a multiple pass, allowing unlimited entry during the exhibition comes in at 400 baht outside, 800 baht at the gate. Children and the elderly are admitted at half-price. In-show transport comes in at 30 Baht per adult, and ten baht per child or elderly person, electric golf carts cost 50 baht per adult, 30 baht per child or elderly person.

But hey, I know that statistics are as captivating as root canal work; you want to know how to get there, what to see there, what to wear there, and most important of all—where is there?

On your behalf, dear reader, I went not once, but twice to this great exhibition. I walked for miles under a pitiless sun, queued for transport that was so long in coming that I discarded my watch in favor of a calendar; learned how to swim upstream against a tide of humanity, took on ruffians jumping the queue at “Bug World” and gave them such a beating that they will miss kindergarten for at least a week.

My initial visit was a few days after the official opening. I live no more than a five minute drive from the site of the Royal Flora Ratchaphruek. It took me almost an hour to get there. I made the mistake of taking private transport, a crime that carries the same penalty as dealing in heroin. Being turned away by a smiling police officer-(you would laugh too if you were the one who had the gun), I returned home to seek public transport. This entailed a “songthaew” trip down the Hang Dong Road to the Central Airport Plaza. I was offered a trip to the Royal Flora site from a number of red songthaew drivers there, ranging from 150 Baht to an arranged marriage with one of their daughters.

An honest chap directed me to a car park behind the Plaza where, for just 20 Baht, I was transported by red taxi up to the very gates of the exhibition. Once inside I became one of the 38,324 other souls queuing to board one of a handful of in-show transport vehicles, extended electric golf carts mini-trains and other.

One lady told me through tears that she had been waiting so long that she’d missed the birth of her first grandchild. I opted to walk. I now have complete empathy with salmon returning to spawn in the rivers of their birth; everyone seemed to be coming back from where I was going!

After a couple of hours of diving in and out of air-conditioned pavilions to view what flora I could find, I gave up and returned to where shuttle buses were lined up to take visitors back to Chiang Mai.
I’m not old enough to remember the evacuation of troops from Dunkirk, but the scene was reminiscent of those I have witnessed when refugees fled war-torn countries throughout Europe and South America.

Children were being separated from their parents; men were elbowing women and children aside in a desperate bid to be one of the ninety or so people already aboard a 32 seater bus. Muted and tearful farewells were made through windows, misted up by the crush of humanity therein. I walked home, fuming like a Loy Krathong firework.

My second visit was on the 16th of November; this time I went at the crack of nine o’clock on a Thursday morning. A yellow songthaew from home to the Airport Plaza, a free, air-conditioned luxury Press van to the site, and there I was in Paradise, Nirvana, Heaven, Valhalla, call it what you will, I had arrived without fuss and walked freely among the few thousand people who had chosen to visit in the morning. The organizers had learned quickly from the chaos of the first few days. Extra in-show transport had been brought in, and more staff taken on board.

• Whenever you choose to visit Royal Flora, you will find a plethora of public and private transport from points all across town.
• Drive to and park at the Railway Station, or the 700 year stadium. Shuttle buses will take you to and from Royal Flora for free.
• Leave your car or motorcycle at Central Airport Plaza and take a 20 Baht trip to the exhibition, and return for the same fee.
• There are shuttle bus services from points all across town and the buses are marked Royal Flora Ratchaphruek.
• Don’t take your car, van, motorcycle, bike or skateboard anywhere near the site.

I braved the sun on my second visit, and both walked and used a golf cart to get around this massive site. For those hooked on numbers it is a 7.2 kilometer walk around the entire exhibition. But who’s counting?

There is so much to see, but the Royal Pavilion is by far the most visited site within the grounds. This majestic building, in classic, Lanna style, was created to honor his Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej, and to show his immense contribution toward the improvement of the country’s agricultural sector. His Majesty’s contributions to this sector alone are too numerous to list here. Suffice it to say that the organizers have devised a unique mini-exhibition within the walls of this fine structure, outlining the many and varied contributions to agriculture made by the king down the decades. Visitors will be astonished to know that this elegant building, comprising mainly wood and natural stone, was erected without the use of a single nail.

The artisans employed in its construction used ancient wood working skills that involve dovetailing and marrying one beam to another without the need of nails.

Elsewhere in the exhibition there are corporate gardens, sunken gardens, 32 foreign gardens depicting life in far off lands, including the national flowers and plants of each country.

There are cultural shows, musical extravaganzas including jazz nights at open air pavilions, colorful fountain displays on the lakes, food outlets providing international cuisine, Children’s playgrounds, picnic areas, a rubber forest, a fruit pavilion, herb garden, Bug World; in short, this Royal Flora Ratchaphruek has everything for the serious horticulturalist, and the ordinary lover of plants and flowers.

The exhibition is based in Chiang Mai’s suburbia, easily reachable by public transport. Although the searing heat of summer is well behind us it is still, to both Thai and foreign visitors, too hot to spend six or seven hours in the open. Drink lots of water, wear light clothing, and carry a sweater for your forays into the air-conditioned pavilions; cover your head, make use of the in-show transport, and above all enjoy this unique and exotic exhibition.